someone get that fucking seahorse.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
