So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
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A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
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he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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