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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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