in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
