So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
