i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wear drunk well.
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