Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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