no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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