I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I want to fling myself into the sun
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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