WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize