were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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