Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
