The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
