Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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