I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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