it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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