just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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