just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
