the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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