It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
