He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
