OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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