I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
