Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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