i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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