I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
