Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
