apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
