Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
