Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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