I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
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you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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