I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
