Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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