In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
