normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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