I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize