Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
