are you so shy because you have an std?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
