No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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