Non-Jews are for practice
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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