is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
