Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
