so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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