So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
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The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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