Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize