As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is wine microwaveable?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
