chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
