I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
