She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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