Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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