lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
