who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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