I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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