I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
