i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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