You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
