Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize